Fun with the first-stanza Renga, which as we know is just a 17-syllable haiku. The poem below is a quad-haiku, as is the one below the one below … as if you care. Just read!

– – – –

Satisfied Goings

Fingers on the pulse

We watched second hand sweeping

Strong and weak and none

…

Now time to get up

Shell remaining still

The real part raised and stretched

…

How do you feel now?

Raw like a missing toenail

With room for new growth

…

Felt a smile flow through

Lifting as songs softly sung

Satisfied goings

– – – –

But … what happens when we change something very small at the end? Watch this!

– – – –

Satisfied Song Dogs

Fingers on the pulse

We watched second hand sweeping

Strong and weak and none

…

Now time to get up

Shell remaining still

The real part raised and stretched

…

How do you feel now?

Raw like a missing toenail

With room for new growth

…

Felt a smile flow through

Lifting as songs softly sung

Satisfied song dogs

– – – –

In the first, the spirit is freed from death in a transcendent way, the end. Awww…

In the second, the spirit is freed from death in a transcendent way, and the remains (and presumably the “we”) are eaten by a pack of coyotes (song dogs), the end. Awww…

The second version was unplanned. I did a final out-loud reading of the original poem before posting. At the end I heard myself say song dogs instead of goings.

Changing nothing else, everything changes. Phrases like, “raised and stretched,” take on a new meaning. So do phases, like, “watched,” and “raw”. Even “smile” now hints at exposed teeth before an attack.

Innocence that serves as a strength in the first becomes vulnerability in the second.

All the time choose wisely. Sometimes choose bothly. Play out so-called mistakes! You may find unexpected progress.

This is only day three? I’m tired!